Monthly Archives: August 2014

Things I Hate: Cleaning the Bathroom

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by in Thing I Hate

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There are a lot of things I hate in this world. So many that I will have to just focus on one at a time. Today, you get to hear about why I hate cleaning the bathroom.

I hate wearing rubber gloves, but I refuse the clean the bathroom without them.

I hate having to own old ugly sweats to wear when I clean the bathroom so that I don’t accidentally get bleach on something I want to wear in public again.

I hate getting on my hands and knees to scrub the bathtub, and when there is that one spot that will.not.look.clean.

I hate grout that seems to be permanently discolored. I don’t want to look up some fancy Pinterest cleaner recipe. I want my Clorox to do the trick.

I hate the urine stains under the toilet seat, because I know they are not mine and they make me frustrated that a grown man can’t get it all in the bowl. What hope do I have when the toddler starts using the toilet???

I hate that we don’t have a fan in our bathroom, so there is always this weird soapy growth on our walls.

I hate that when I go to wash the floors, there is always a spot that I missed sweeping, so I end up with a wet glob of something smeared on my floor which I then have to go wipe up.

I hate that when I sweep the floors, the floor tile that is broken always flips up, and I have to try 3 different times before I get it to fit correctly.

I hate the little collection of gross-ness that happens behind the toilet.

I hate that I inevitably always drop something back there.

I hate cleaning the base of the toilet, there is always pee there too! Seriously!

I hate that after I do clean the bathroom, someone uses it and it is again tainted (yes, even if I’m the one using it).

If you don’t hate cleaning the bathroom the way I do, I will pay you $50 to come to my house and clean mine. I will also wonder what is wrong with you for not hating it.

Dumb Things Men Take Pride In

27 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in Men, Nothing, Pee

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If you are friends with me on Facebook and you happened to go on this past Sunday, you would have read about my hostage situation with my husband. He was determined to drive from Buffalo to Silver Spring, MD in 6 hours; starting at 9am, he stopped for 1 bathroom break at 11am. I had consumed a large Tim Horton’s coffee along with plenty of water… but Erica, why would you drink so much when your husband was on a mission? WELL, he only tells me this at 1pm when I finally decide to say I needed a bathroom break in the near future, AND.HE.SAID.NO.

I sat in the passenger seat for 2 hours needing to pee. BAD. While I told him what a horrible person he was, I also came up with the idea for this post! Here it is, my list of dumb things men take pride in:

Driving Times/Routes: This is of course first on the list because I just permanently damaged my bladder for my husbands driving bragging rights.  Which route to take also makes the list; how many times have you had to listen to “no, no, no, that way will take you forever. You have to take the blah, blah, blah, blah”?

The Number and Type of Tools Owned: Own the basic hammer, drill, screwdriver and saw? Yeah, so does my toddler (in corduroy). If you want to look like a real man in front of your friends and neighbors, you need to be able to offer them that random thing they would normally go rent from Home Depot. It’s all about the drill press, mitre saw and belt sander.

Size of Their TV: It’s like the only respectable way they can say “mine is ____ inches” to each other without compromising their perceived sexuality.

Knowing Sports Stats: They can’t remember to switch the laundry, but they can remember how many wins their football team has in the month of December, on the road, in temperatures less than 30, where the opposing team had a blue jersey.

Poop: Length, diameter, how many times it looped without breaking. Please tell me I am not the only one that’s been subject to this shit (see what I did there? hehe).

While I am still emotionally scarred by the pee holding experience with my husband (and may never take a road trip with him again), I did get some inspiration…and I got to mention poop for the first time on my blog (yes, first time. I have a toddler, there are more poop stories to be told).

 

Guest Post on Professor Parenting!

25 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by in Guest Blogging, Pregnancy

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Today’s post is via Professor Parenting, a humorous AND educational blog written by one of my favorite people. Please check out what I think about the judgements pregnant women face, and when you’re done please like Brandi on Facebook. You won’t regret it (except maybe if you pee your pants from laughing).

http://professorparenting.blogspot.com/2014/08/thou-shalt-not-judge-pregnant-woman.html

Mom Crush

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by in Me, Nothing

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Do you ever find yourself buying books and magazines that you know you will never have time to read, but they just look so good you convince yourself you will make time? I do, basically every time I’m in a bookstore, in line at the grocery store and whenever Amazon recommends something to me based on the last collection of yet-to-be-read books I purchased.

One of the magazines I “recently” picked up and finally got around to reading months later is Washingtonian Mom Magazine. I’ve always enjoyed Washingtonian Magazine so I thought I should give the mom-centric version a shot. I’m not going to give you some boring review about their magazine; instead I’m stealing one of their ideas. They had a section called Mom Crush and asked ‘get to know you better’ type questions of the featured women.

So today, we are going to pretend you have a Mom Crush on me, and I’m going to answer some of the questions they asked…

CURRENTLY ON MY NIGHTSTAND: The current issue of Marie Claire, Tina Fey’s “Bossypants” and the book I just finished reading “All Fall Down” by Jennifer Weiner…and my cell phone.

LIPSTICK: Depends on the day and the outfit, but my go-to Smashbox Mandarin is always in my purse.

DREAM VACATION: I’m dying to go to Croatia. It’s been a wish of mine well before it was cool to go there.

MY FRIENDS WOULD SAY I’M: I hope they would say that I’m passionate and a leader, but they would probably say that I’m outspoken and insistent.

APP I RELY ON: Couch to 5K. It helped get me running and has lots of program options so I can run intervals on some days and timed or distance runs on other. And, it comes on over my music so I never have to look at the time.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: Buy awesome shoes.

GUILTY PLEASURE: Good cheese…and designer purses. I came to an agreement with my husband a couple of years ago that I would only buy one designer bag a year. Then he bought me one for my birthday; but don’t worry, it doesn’t count against my annual purchase, it was a wristlet.

BEFORE I HAD KIDS: I played volleyball, softball or football at least 2 nights a week all year round.

NOW THAT I HAVE KIDS: I’ve modified down to football once a week in Spring and Fall.

Are you totally smitten with me yet?

Virgin Posting

20 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in Me, Nothing, Seinfeld References

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The other night I wrote what I thought may be my very first blog post; until my husband read it.  His very gently worded input was pretty much “you told me nothing, what is your blog about?”. And my response was “it’s a blog about nothing, that’s the blog”.

Now, if you don’t watch Seinfeld you probably have no idea why I was so amused with myself.  To give you a chance to catch up you can watch the clip below that better explains (but really if you don’t watch Seinfeld, there is a good chance we don’t have a lot in common and you won’t continue reading my blog).

So yes, this is my blog about nothing. Only instead of a friend, neighbor and ex-girlfriend, I have a husband, child and dog.  The hubby is my Fred Flinstone, and we have a son that loves nothing more to perform ‘Feats of Strength’ (see: Festivus), so he is our Bam-Bam.

In all reality, this blog will inevitably be about something. I’m extremely opinionated, hate a lot of things/people, and have a tendency to over share. Topics will include, but are not limited to: mommy-ness, pet peeves, and just the random sh!t I do. Welcome!