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Friday night the husband made the suggestion of going out for dinner… he even let me pick the spot.  I’m a sucker for some guacamole and tacos, so off we went with toddler in tow to my favorite mexican restaurant.

To start the evening off it was a 15 minute wait for a table. Our first instinct is to head over to the bar to get a couple of margaritas while we wait. Well there is a reason all the people with kids wait for tables huddled at the opposite wall from the bar.  By heading to the bar we were basically asking for our toddler to be trampled by happy hour goers. Once we got our margaritas the toddler threw a fit because he wanted our margaritas. The bartender looked at us like we’re idiots when we asked for a plastic cup with water and a straw.  Whatever, it worked.

Our little red buzzer went off and we headed to our table. Someone doing the seating the chart must have had feeling about us because we were sat at the very back of the restaurant, in the last booth. We sat the toddler in his little booster seat, handed him his crayon and coloring menu and promptly went back to our margaritas.

Toddlers ass in the booster seat lasted about 3 minutes. Then it was on the floor as he wanted to sit like a big boy in the booth seat. Do you know what happens when a 2 year old is sitting in a booth without a booster? Everything he reaches for is above him, so everything gets poured into his mouth/face/lap. That is until he stands up and discovers there are people on the other side of the glass to entertain…

There is heated outdoor seating at this restaurant and toddler had spotted a table of people out there he wanted to talk to thru the glass. He pounded and jumped and danced to try and get their attention. When husband and I looked to see who he was so interested in, I was deflated to see it was a woman with 3 young kids, all which were sitting nicely at the table not paying any mind to the crazy toddler on the other side of the glass.

I barely ate 1 taco before toddler became bored with the non-responsive, well behaved children. Then it was time to try sitting on or crawling across the table. We managed to distract him long enough with dipping tortilla chips in salsa (the kid loves to dip) to chug our watered down margaritas and inhale our dinner.  Husband practically threw his credit card at the waiter approximately two minutes later so we could get the heck out of there.

We drove about 30 minutes each way so we could stand for 15 minutes waiting for a table, and then spend 30 minutes saying “please sit down”, “don’t throw that”, “that’s not how we behave in a restaurant” while having salsa and guacamole splattered on us.

I look around and feel like every other kid is well behaved and we have the tazmanian devil. What are we doing wrong? Will this ever get better? Are we terrible parents? Is our toddler actually possessed?  I want to believe that the more we take him out the more he will learn how to behave at restaurants, but every time we go out I wonder what were we thinking? At the same time, he is a 2 year old boy, so I don’t want to have unreasonable expectations.  He’s a good kid, he just can’t sit still for more than 5 minutes which means anything other than Five Guys seems to be out of the question for dining options.

Looks like the husband and I will need to get some date nights on the calendar so we eat somewhere that doesn’t have plastic lids on the cups and ketchup on the floor.