Tags
body hate, Body love, Dove, food, food issues, New Years Resolutions, Real Beauty Campaign, self acceptance, Special K, weight loss, weight watchers
As we approach the New Year everyone is talking resolutions. The one that tops the list for most is to lose weight. I’d love to lose 25lbs (or even 5). What won’t be new to the year is the inner battle I have with this desire to lose weight and mission to love myself and my body for what it is. But this year, my resolution is to not join Weight Watchers (for the umpteenth time).
I’ve struggled with my weight my entire adolescence and adult life. Just this year I’ve lost and gained the same 10lbs TWICE. Seriously, I lost 10lbs, gained it back, lost it again and gained it back again. I’m right back where I was this time last year, possibly a couple pounds heavier. I can’t seem to stay committed to the changes it takes to lose weight and maintain it.
I would love to be in a place where I didn’t hate my body… you know, where I can look in the mirror and not cringe at the overfull, yet smushy area that is my stomach. Body acceptance and self love is all the rage. Companies like Dove and Kellog’s Special K are all over telling me that I’m okay just they way I am.
Except I’m not. Being overweight isn’t good for me and I know it…and so do my knees and ankles when I run. The thing is, the only way I know how to start the process of losing weight isn’t by saying “you look great just the way you are”, it’s by saying “you’re fat and gross, stop eating so much”.
To me, loving myself they way I am and losing weight to be healthier are in direct conflict with each other. I don’t say “no” to french fries because my body is better off without the starch and fried fat. I say “no” because I’m too fat to allow myself to eat them. It’s a punishment, not a job well done. It’s no wonder my weight yo-yo’s. I berate myself into losing weight, only to applaud my efforts with that basket of fries I’ve been denying myself for weeks (or months).
Maybe instead of dropping my money into the pockets of weight loss companies, I’ll spend it on a behavioral nutritionist that will help me work out my food issues. Overall, this new year needs to be about changing my brain instead of changing my body. Finding a way to make healthy food choices because it makes me feel good, instead of withholding junk food as some sort of penance for previous discretions. I’ll be sure to keep you updated… but don’t worry, I’ll refrain from telling you every item of food I’m eating every day…unless it’s reeeeeaaaally good.
Good for you and I think you’re totally on point about paying attention to your food issues!
I always knew I had food issues, but it wasn’t until I wrote this post that I realized why I yo-yo so much. Totally a brain issue!
Erica, you and I – same struggle. To me there is a difference between loving yourself and loving your body. To me, loving your body is about accepting the things you can’t change or to find the happy place where your body is healthy but not deprived of the things you love to eat or drink.
This last 6 months, I lost 50 lbs. I’ve since gained back 7 lbs (damn you Holiday fun). I needed to lose weight because I was well past the ‘healthy curvy look’ into the ‘Whoa, that’s a problem’ place. It is OKAY to be motivated by your clothes not fitting right, or your stomach hanging over your too tight jeans. It’s OKAY to look at yourself in the mirror and say “This is NOT acceptable.” That has nothing to do with loving your body.
I would LOVE to have Emma Stone’s body type. But I never will. Even at my lightest in College, I had 36DD breasts and a big ass. I was 140 lbs. I’ve learned to LOVE my curves over the years and to me that is what loving your body is about.
I agree, there has to be a place for accepting your body type and being able to give yourself a kick in the ass when necessary. Great job on the 50lbs, that’s incredible! How did you stay focused on your goals for 6 months? I tend to fall off track after the first month or so.
Erica, you and I – same struggle. To me there is a difference between loving yourself and loving your body. To me, loving your body is about accepting the things you can’t change or to find the happy place where your body is healthy but not deprived of the things you love to eat or drink.
This last 6 months, I lost 50 lbs. I’ve since gained back 7 lbs (damn you Holiday fun). I needed to lose weight because I was well past the ‘healthy curvy look’ into the ‘Whoa, that’s a problem’ place. It is OKAY to be motivated by your clothes not fitting right, or your stomach hanging over your too tight jeans. It’s OKAY to look at yourself in the mirror and say “This is NOT acceptable.” That has nothing to do with loving your body.
I would LOVE to have Emma Stone’s body type. But I never will. Even at my lightest in College, I had 36DD breasts and a big ass. I was 140 lbs. I’ve learned to LOVE my curves over the years and to me that is what loving your body is about.
I lost 70 pounds at age 62 without dieting. I struggled with diets for 40+ years and i lost with Gods help.
http://www.talkingtomyweightlosscounselor.wordpress.com
That’s fantastic! Good job!