If you have either a dog or a toddler you are well aware that these two dependents are adorable and loving while also being incredibly demanding. When you have them both, you begin to realize they are two peas in the pain-in-the-ass pod.
1. Neither of them can tell you what it is they need to stop whining. You must go through a list of all the things you know they like until you name something that makes them jump up and down in excitement.
2. They will shit on the floor. After they shit on the floor they come running to you, stand there in silence and look at you with big sorrowful eyes because they know they did something wrong.
3. They want to eat when they want to eat. Not dinner time yet? Does not matter. You best get the food on a plate and in front of their mouths immediately or risk being hounded endlessly for the next however many minutes it is until mealtime.
4. Throwing a ball so they can chase after it is their favorite game. It is also a game that never seems to come to an end…until you “accidentally” throw the ball over a fence/under the couch/into the fireplace.
5. You are not allowed to go in a room unless they can come too. Again, the whining and crying come out full force so you can’t even enjoy this moment of laundry folding solitude.
6. When you sit on the couch, they will at that moment decide thats where they wanted to sit and proceed to squeeze themselves behind you until you are so uncomfortable you get up and sit somewhere else.
7. No matter how much you are looking forward to leaving the house alone, they can make you feel incredibly guilty. The running to the door, the crying and whining, the watching you out the window in sadness because they don’t understand why they can’t come too.
8. If left unattended in the kitchen, they will get into the garbage… and be found eating something that activates your gag reflex.
9. They love peanut butter. They also know how to leave little peanut butter paw/hand prints all over the house.
10. They are the best welcome home committee. Bad day? Sat in traffic for an hour? They will run to the door smiling and jumping up and down. Your homecoming is the highlight of their day… that is until they find a new ball for you to throw.