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Remember when you went away to college, and there was a collection of your peers there waiting to help you and your parents move you into the dorms? They all wore matching shirts and were really enthusiastic in helping you schlep all your shit out of a car, into a big grey bin and into your room.

These people do not exist in your adult life. Your adult friends work, have families, and if you’re in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s+, most definitely have some sort of physical ailment. No one is interested in spending a previously free Saturday afternoon hauling your crap in and out of a truck/house. 

Hire movers. It is that simple. Depending where you live, how far you’re moving and how much junk you own it will probably be at least $1000 dollars. There is no amount of pizza and beer that you can offer to your friends that equals the sweat, pain and annoying lifting and pivoting through your staircase…and did I mention taking up a free Saturday?

I think of it this way; if you can’t afford to leave a decent tip for a bartender, you should be drinking at home. If you can’t afford to drop some cash (or charge it!) on some movers, then you shouldn’t move. And if you’re really desperate, I’ll donate some money towards your movers, but I will not actually help you move.