Monthly Archives: April 2015

The Man I Wanted to Punch at a Child’s Birthday Party

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

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Yesterday the family headed over to a dear friend son’s 2nd birthday party.  It was a beautiful day and the yard was set up like a little circus extravaganza. There was popcorn, cotton candy and lots of activities for all the kids to do while they were there.

This party is one of the first parties our toddler has been to, specifically with so many kids. The age ranges were from 1 year old to probably 5 or 6 years old. Typically he’s surrounded by other 2 year old that all have the same behavioral patterns- take toy away, run into each other, have toy taken back, climb something, repeat.

It becomes very clear what a different being a 2 year old is compared to a 1 or 5 year old. 1 year olds don’t really cause a whole lot of trouble; they are just getting the hang of moving on their own, don’t talk very much and therefore are really of minimal impact amongst a group of kids. 5 years olds are the flip side of that; they have gotten the hang of their bodies movements along with a good grasp of language and how to communicate their wishes/needs.

2 Years olds are none of the above. They don’t pay enough attention to others around them, they don’t know how to ask for a turn with a toy, and don’t quite get the idea when someone doesn’t want to play with them (or is too small and can’t play with them). Our toddler tried to wrestle a 1 year old, and thought that the climbing castle was his kingdom to be ruled.

He also thought that pushing an older boy was a fun game, that the older boy did not. I didn’t witness it, but during lunch while I was helping the toddler with his pizza, this little boy came up to me and told me toddler had been pushing him. I apologized for toddler and he went on his way. I heard him not long after that saying “that boy isn’t being very nice”, and I felt sad. I felt sad that my son had hurt this boys feelings, that he’s become “a pusher”, which is heading down the path of being a bully. I tried to talk to the toddler about what the boy said, but the only response I got was “pizza pizza” and “water”. I don’t think I got through.

Probably not even an hour later toddler was starting to get over-tired, which we expected since the party went into nap time, and this kid is a sleeper.  The hubby and I started to pack up to leave and say our goodbyes. Just as we started doing this, the toddler ran over to one of the kiddie games that a couple of adults were playing for their own amusement. It was sort of a corn hole-esque game with bean bags and holes to throw them in. The toddler, loving a good game of corn hole, ran over and tackled the board knocking it to the ground.

Then I heard the statement that I’ve been thinking about over and over again for the last 24 hours. One of the adult “gentlemen” said, right after toddler knocked the board over, “I hate this kid”.  I heard him say it, I stared him straight in the eyes and then he turned his back to me as his brother-in-law giggled. I have been going over in my head for the last 24+ hours all the things I wish I would have said to him. I always go back to the fact that this was a party, there were kids and grandparents there, and I didn’t make a scene and that was for the best.

First I will tell you that I’m 95% sure this man was the father of the child my toddler had been pushing. For that, I understand not being my kids #1 fan. But FUCK YOU YOU MOTHER FUCKING DOUCHE BAG FOR THINKING YOU CAN SAY YOU HATE MY KID RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOUR SON GROWS UP TO BE A BETTER MAN THAN YOU. IF I SEE YOU AGAIN AND THERE ARE NO CHILDREN OR ELDERY, AND YOU SAY ANYTHING OF THE SORT WITHIN EARSHOT OF ME, I WILL SPIT ON YOU. I WILL PROBABLY PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN YOUR FUCKING NOSE. I WILL MOST DEFINITELY MAKE A FUCKING SCENE. DON’T EVER SAY YOU HATE MY KID. EVER. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK HEAD.

I know my child isn’t perfect or always well behaved, but he is a sweet little boy and he has a sensitive soul. I imagine that the older boy that he was pushing was probably a rambunctious 2 year old that made bad decisions and hurt other kids feelings. I’m also guessing that this dad wasn’t very involved in trying to work through actions and consequences with someone that has the brain capacity of a neanderthal, because if he were he’d probably remember what a challenging time this is.

Moral of the story; don’t say shit about my kid in front of me, because I’m on a short fuse now. And, try and give parents a break, if we could keep them from messing up, we would.

My Entire House Smelled Like Poop

20 Monday Apr 2015

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Do I know you? A common joke (that only I think is funny) I make to people I haven’t talked to in a while. It’s been well over a week since I last posted, and the main reason for that has been this (see picture); the hubby had some major shoulder surgery.

Ray_shoulder_scar

In general I can get overwhelmed with life. Work, child, school, doctor appointments, housework, bills, meals, and finding time to exercise, can all be a lot to take. Now throw in a husband that is without a functioning arm for the next 5 months and you have the recipe for an emotional breakdown…or 3. No seriously, I have had at least 3 cry-fests since he went under the knife. For the last 10 days we had my mom staying with us to help with the toddler. It definitely helped take some of the stress off of me, but didn’t keep me from still feeling completely worn out (because it’s not like I’m not also growing a human at the moment too).

I started to think to myself about how women that have husbands that refuse to do anything must feel on a regular basis. I’ve always been spoiled with a husband that does more than his fair share of the housework and child care. Luckily, surgery went well and he feels great, and is still trying to do what he can so that not everything is on me. Tonight he even read the bedtime story and tucked him in, hence I am writing this post.

After all the mayhem lately, the universe tried my patience for hopefully the last time for a while. Last night the toddler woke up twice with some major blowout action. Then when I got up in the morning I discovered the hubby was hit with the same bug. I do not exaggerate when I say the entire house smelled like poop. Luckily it was a nice morning and I could open every window in the house and go to town with every Yankee candle I could find.

My sanity has been tested and no one was murdered (not even our shithead neighbor that was blaring the bass in his car for HOURS during nap time, and when we politely asked him to turn down just the bass got all pissy. You can’t even hear the music when the bass is that loud, so what the heck is the point? ). I would say even with the emotional breakdowns, the last 10 days have been a success.

I Let My Two Year Old Use My iPad and I’m Not Sorry

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

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It’s been a hot topic for years, since the invention of the tv; how much time is too much time in front of a screen? The topic has been amplified now that we have our i-everythings and screen time is available more than from our living rooms.

I totally agree that kids should be spending more time playing and using their imaginations than they do occupied by a device. However, I’m a parent that uses those devices to get through my day.  On an ideal day, the toddler never spends any time in front of the tv or in the iPad and sometimes those days happen.

On most days the hubby and I balance our full time jobs and part time child care. The toddler goes to school a few days a week, but days that he’s home or weeks with no school, like Spring Break this week, we have to do double duty. We usually split the days so we each get at least 8 hours of work time (poor hubby gets the short stick on this as his day usually starts at 4am).

Some days our schedules can demand we work even while we’re on toddler duty. Today, thanks to a last minute appointment hubby needed to attend, my afternoon involved working from home. This means I have to make sure he’s occupied so that I can still get work done. Enter the iPad. ipad-parentingThanks to my lovely device I can stream episode after episode of Curious George. This allows me to make calls and write emails while also making sure the toddler isn’t breaking something, eating something or tormenting the dog. No, it’s not ideal. I would love if we were out at the playground instead, but that’s not conducive to keeping myself employed.

The hubby faces the same issues. There are days that I have a client meeting during “my toddler time” and he has a deadline for his clients. Again, out comes Curious George (or lately, Cars has been a big demand).  This is the compromise we make in order to have the money to pay the bills, and to have a family.

Why am I defending my iPad parenting? Well, I do feel guilty… or maybe just judged. I have friends that don’t use devices to keep their kids occupied. I read the articles that talk about the “damage” done to children that are exposed to too much screen time at too young an age. Like I said above, this isn’t the ideal scenario, but it is our reality.

The hubby and I are actually extremely lucky to have the flexibility to cover each other with the kiddo when work duties call. We are both grateful to see our son more than a couple of hours a day, as we also know parents that can’t say the same. Every parent makes compromises to make life work for their family. This is one of ours, and I’m not sorry.

3 Things: I’d Like to Never Hear in a Song Again

03 Friday Apr 2015

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With so many annoying songs out there, its hard to pinpoint the things that cause me to hate them so much. Here are the 3 things that I hate hearing in songs, and I wish “artists” would stop using.

1. Whistles. There was a Snoop Dogg song on the radio the other day and while I normally like his music, I found myself severely annoyed. I realized it was because there was a whistle going off every few seconds like some sort of quirky beat keeper. I felt like it was the late 90’s and I was in my own personal hell; a rave with trance music and adults sucking on pacifiers.

2. Sirens. Nothing is more unnerving than driving your car and hearing sirens that you can’t find. You go through the panic of “am I being pulled over?” to “am I going to get crushed by a fire engine that comes out of nowhere into this intersection?”.  I don’t think anyone’s music sounds more “hood” just because they have sirens in the background.

3. Ariana Grande. I’m sorry, I just don’t know why this chick is everywhere. Her voice is okay. She looks like a 12 year old dressing up like a hooker for halloween. Do we need to keep trying to make her into a sex symbol? Can’t she just be a Disney star or something?