Yesterday the family headed over to a dear friend son’s 2nd birthday party. It was a beautiful day and the yard was set up like a little circus extravaganza. There was popcorn, cotton candy and lots of activities for all the kids to do while they were there.
This party is one of the first parties our toddler has been to, specifically with so many kids. The age ranges were from 1 year old to probably 5 or 6 years old. Typically he’s surrounded by other 2 year old that all have the same behavioral patterns- take toy away, run into each other, have toy taken back, climb something, repeat.
It becomes very clear what a different being a 2 year old is compared to a 1 or 5 year old. 1 year olds don’t really cause a whole lot of trouble; they are just getting the hang of moving on their own, don’t talk very much and therefore are really of minimal impact amongst a group of kids. 5 years olds are the flip side of that; they have gotten the hang of their bodies movements along with a good grasp of language and how to communicate their wishes/needs.
2 Years olds are none of the above. They don’t pay enough attention to others around them, they don’t know how to ask for a turn with a toy, and don’t quite get the idea when someone doesn’t want to play with them (or is too small and can’t play with them). Our toddler tried to wrestle a 1 year old, and thought that the climbing castle was his kingdom to be ruled.
He also thought that pushing an older boy was a fun game, that the older boy did not. I didn’t witness it, but during lunch while I was helping the toddler with his pizza, this little boy came up to me and told me toddler had been pushing him. I apologized for toddler and he went on his way. I heard him not long after that saying “that boy isn’t being very nice”, and I felt sad. I felt sad that my son had hurt this boys feelings, that he’s become “a pusher”, which is heading down the path of being a bully. I tried to talk to the toddler about what the boy said, but the only response I got was “pizza pizza” and “water”. I don’t think I got through.
Probably not even an hour later toddler was starting to get over-tired, which we expected since the party went into nap time, and this kid is a sleeper. The hubby and I started to pack up to leave and say our goodbyes. Just as we started doing this, the toddler ran over to one of the kiddie games that a couple of adults were playing for their own amusement. It was sort of a corn hole-esque game with bean bags and holes to throw them in. The toddler, loving a good game of corn hole, ran over and tackled the board knocking it to the ground.
Then I heard the statement that I’ve been thinking about over and over again for the last 24 hours. One of the adult “gentlemen” said, right after toddler knocked the board over, “I hate this kid”. I heard him say it, I stared him straight in the eyes and then he turned his back to me as his brother-in-law giggled. I have been going over in my head for the last 24+ hours all the things I wish I would have said to him. I always go back to the fact that this was a party, there were kids and grandparents there, and I didn’t make a scene and that was for the best.
First I will tell you that I’m 95% sure this man was the father of the child my toddler had been pushing. For that, I understand not being my kids #1 fan. But FUCK YOU YOU MOTHER FUCKING DOUCHE BAG FOR THINKING YOU CAN SAY YOU HATE MY KID RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOUR SON GROWS UP TO BE A BETTER MAN THAN YOU. IF I SEE YOU AGAIN AND THERE ARE NO CHILDREN OR ELDERY, AND YOU SAY ANYTHING OF THE SORT WITHIN EARSHOT OF ME, I WILL SPIT ON YOU. I WILL PROBABLY PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN YOUR FUCKING NOSE. I WILL MOST DEFINITELY MAKE A FUCKING SCENE. DON’T EVER SAY YOU HATE MY KID. EVER. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK HEAD.
I know my child isn’t perfect or always well behaved, but he is a sweet little boy and he has a sensitive soul. I imagine that the older boy that he was pushing was probably a rambunctious 2 year old that made bad decisions and hurt other kids feelings. I’m also guessing that this dad wasn’t very involved in trying to work through actions and consequences with someone that has the brain capacity of a neanderthal, because if he were he’d probably remember what a challenging time this is.
Moral of the story; don’t say shit about my kid in front of me, because I’m on a short fuse now. And, try and give parents a break, if we could keep them from messing up, we would.