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~ Pretending to be a functioning wife, mother, friend and adult.

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Category Archives: WTF Wednesday

WTF Wednesday: Why Won’t You Sleep?

26 Thursday May 2016

Posted by ericakatherine in Parenting, WTF Wednesday

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

delerious, go the F**K to sleep, go to sleep, sleep deprived, sleep training, sleeping baby, sleeping toddler

When the boy was about 7 months old, we sleep trained him. It took us one day, two separate 45 minute sessions of gut wrenching torture, but it worked. We ended up with a baby that would sleep 12 hours a night, plus still take 2 naps a day. At one point I thought something was wrong with him because he was sleeping so much.

Fast forward exactly 3 years later, and we’re a mess. Our once sleepy headed little baby has become so stubborn against sleeping. We start a bedtime routine at 7pm, and after the stories, songs, final requests for milk and an extra hug (what parent says no to that?), we leave his room ready to have some adult time (you know, to watch Cutthroat Kitchen of course).

Then comes the click of the door knob, and the creek of the door opening, followed by little steps out into the hallway. The first time is “I need to use the potty”. That’s a guaranteed pass as we’re trying to encourage using the toilet. The next time is a request for something random like an ice pack (those blue things for the cooler) or another cup of milk. This repeats for the next 45 minutes with no requests at all, just pleas to not make him go to bed. It becomes SO draining to think you’ve got him down only to hear that click 15 minutes later.

The bonus is when he wakes up at 5am and refuses to go back to sleep. Every morning either begins with a tantrum over not going back to bed, or just sucking it up and getting up ass early. Where did our little sleepy head go? Will we ever see him again?

The torture doesn’t end there. Our little girl is also a source of the sleep deprivation. She was a great little sleeper the first few months of her life. I felt so lucky to have a baby that slept. Had. I had a baby that slept. What was once a girl on her way to sleeping a consistent 6 hours at a shot every night, is now waking up every 2 hours.

I know that part of this is my fault. She wakes and starts making noise, and because I’m desperate for her to not wake up the kid across the hall, I pop her on a boob until she falls asleep and then put her back in her co-sleeper (note: she is still sleeping in our room). It’s so easy, so it’s what I’ve always done.

But now, now I can’t escape the call of the boob. She expects to come to bed and get cuddly boobie time… and she’s starting to wake more frequently, like once an hour frequently. I’ve become a semi-functioning zombie person. The hubby wants to get back on the sleep train(ing), but I can’t bring myself to do it. Somehow I’ve developed a soul and I can’t imagine a night filled listening to her cries and laying there and doing nothing to soothe her.

I think the boy was such a colicky baby that I got used to hearing him cry. Once it came time to sleep train it was a relief because we no longer had to get up to walk him for an hour or two. The girl though, she’s never been much of a crier. And when she does, it pierces my soul like a thousand knives. I think I’ll emotional bleed out if I attempt to sleep train her. She’ll start sleeping through the night at some point, right? I mean, does anyone have an 8 year old that gets up 4 times a night? I just have to wait her out, and pray she starts sleeping more.

If you know us in real life and we lose our train of thought mid sentence, make absolutely no sense during a conversation, or look like a hot mess, it’s because we are. I blame the children. The beautiful, wonderful, horrible children.

WTF Wednesday: Swearing and Screaming Typically Means Something Is Wrong

25 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in WTF Wednesday

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

#giveadamnabouteachother, dislocation, gym, help, humanity, kneecap, lunge, strangers, stretching, toddlers

Today is a day I would either like to forget happened, or get a re-do on. Typically, the morning routine includes making breakfast, getting dressed and going to the gym. It also always includes the toddler. Recently, the toddler has found the process of diaper changes and clothing changes completely unacceptable and does everything within his power to keep either from happening.

Most times I’m able to negotiate a trade of some sort; I put on your shirt, you can play with my cell phone. Or, offering up a sticker can work. Today, nothing worked. There were no negotiations, it was only tears- both his and mine. It took me two hours, but eventually I had a fully dressed toddler. At this point I knew better than to attempt to get him into a car seat and go anywhere. I was drained, defeated and completely done.

Now that the entire schedule of my day has been thrown, I did some work and finally headed off to the gym. This was a spectacle. It appears that the crowd at the gym at 2p is quite different than the crowd at 9a. It is my theory the 2pm-ers are dudes (because they were almost all dudes) that work at bars, and they’ve just rolled out of bed and are doing their due diligence to be the best looking bartenders/doormen they can be.

hip-openers2

Deep Lunge Stretch

I did my thing, then went over to the mats to stretch. My hips have been super tight lately so one of my go-to stretches is a deep lunge. As I extended my left leg behind me, my kneecap wasn’t properly aligned and dislocated. Sadly, my kneecap dislocating is something that happens on a regular basis and is extremely painful. Typically it pops right back in, but of course today while I’m on the floor of the gym amongst all these strangers, it did not.

I’m writhing in pain, screaming “fuuuuuck” over and over again. You would think this would be a clear sign that something is wrong and I need help, right? Well I had two people basically 3 feet away from me stop, look at me and contemplate if they had to help me or if they could go back to their workout. One did go back to his workout, the other I had to ask to go get a trainer.  Do I expect too much of people that if someone is laying on the floor clutching their knee for dear life and screaming profanities that they might come ask if they need any help?

While the girl I had given the orders to went off to find a trainer, I managed to collect myself enough to pop my knee back in place. They brought me an ice pack and I sat there for a few minutes fighting the urge to ball my eyes out. Not only was I in an immense amount of pain, but I was so extremely disappointed with the people around me that just looked at me, but never offered to help.

Who are we? Why can’t we stop from what we’re doing for just a few seconds to make sure someone else is okay? Is it the time it may take away from your day if you get roped into a situation? Is it that inconvenient to just ask someone if they need help? Do we really care that little about one another?

WTF Wednesday: How Do You Get Goldfish out of a Nose?

18 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Food, Parenting, WTF Wednesday

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Addiction, Goldfish Crackers, Nose, toddlers

I have a toddler. I have a toddler that likes to eat grapes, goldfish, nuts and pretzels. I have a toddler that also likes to stick his fingers up his nose. Recently, the toddler has decided to join his two favorite activities into one, and is sticking his food up his nose.

The hubby and I have managed to catch him in the process, before anything has gotten good and up there, but it got me wondering what would I do if he got a Goldfish cracker lodged in his nose? Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday: Everyone is Pissing Me the Fuck Off

11 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Me, WTF Wednesday

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dumbasses, everyone sucks, pissed off, whatthefuck

What the hell is wrong with people? I am so effing annoyed, I could kick a puppy…but I won’t.

Let’s start with the asshole that hit my husband and smashed up our car, lied to the insurance company that it was a 4-way stop intersection and has such a shitty insurance company that the claims adjuster never called my husband back. After a week he has gotten it taken care of, and hopefully our car will be repaired while we get a rental, but motherfucker that hit my husband, I would bitchslap you if I knew who you were for adding this fucking bullshit to our day. Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday: An Easy Way To Get Yourself Unfriended

12 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in WTF Wednesday

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

asking for money, bullshit, Facebook, gofundme, honeymoon registry, i need a vacation too, not interested, payout, rant

There are lots of people I’m friends with on Facebook that I don’t communicate with. I have blocked seeing them from my newsfeed because while I don’t mind considering them a “friend”, I haven’t found anything they’ve shared worthy of taking a chance the Facebook algorithm brings them to my newsfeed.

Today I received the following invitation to an event “Our Honeymoon Registry”. Oh yes, a honeymoon registry…and here is the description of the event: Continue reading →

10 Ways Dogs and Toddlers are Alike

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Parenting, WTF Wednesday

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

dogs, Lists, love, toddlers

If you have either a dog or a toddler you are well aware that these two dependents are adorable and loving while also being incredibly demanding. When you have them both, you begin to realize they are two peas in the pain-in-the-ass pod.

1. Neither of them can tell you what it is they need to stop whining. You must go through a list of all the things you know they like until you name something that makes them jump up and down in excitement.

2. They will shit on the floor. After they shit on the floor they come running to you, stand there in silence and look at you with big sorrowful eyes because they know they did something wrong. Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday: Repeat After Me- Do Not Ask A Woman If She Is Pregnant

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Me, Pregnancy, Weight, WTF Wednesday

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

don't ask, fat, foot in mouth, mind fuck, pregnant

There are certain things you would think are common knowledge in our society; reality tv is not real, the Patriots are a bunch of cheaters, and you don’t ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Never.

I once ran into an old friend at a bar while celebrating a mutual friends birthday. Looking at her, she was still a petite girl but was rocking a round belly. I ignored that shit. She looked pregnant, but I wasn’t taking the chance that she didn’t just have some insane amount of belly bloat that night. I let her tell me. Sure it was awkward as I danced around the topic in conversation, but it’s way less awkward than asking someone if they’re pregnant when they are not.

Unfortunately, not everyone is as socially savvy as I am,  and I’ve recently been asked twice if I’m pregnant. Once by a good friend and once by a client. I can’t figure which is more insulting, so right now we’ll say they are equally on the shit list I have running in my head. Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday: 2014 Wrap Up

31 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by ericakatherine in Me, WTF Wednesday

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Tags

collage, Facebook pictures, New Years Eve, Wrap Up

Since today is the last day in 2014, I thought I’d put together a little collage of some of my favorite pics that I posted to Facebook this year.  The husband and I had a good chunk of the year feeling bogged down by a costly failed real estate transaction, an absurd amount of money owed (and paid now) to the IRS, and of course my non-pregnancy last month.

This collage represents absolutely none of that. We had a great year, and I refuse to hold on to any of that mess. Along with some favorite random moments, below you will see picture of us with friends at weddings, my brothers graduation from medical school, a family vacation in WV, birthday parties for the husband and the toddler, and my visit (and long time dream) to walk the field pre-game at the home of the Buffalo Bills, Ralph Wilson Stadium. Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday: WTF is Happening to Washington Sports Club?

10 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by ericakatherine in WTF Wednesday

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Tags

cardio, childcare, cycle, facilities, Gold's Gym, group classes, gym, LA Fitness, Lifetime Fitness, memberships, my sports club, pool, sauna, Washington Sports Club, weights, working out, WSC

I have been going to gyms since college; I’ve been a member of Buffalo Athletic Club, several Gold’s Gym locations, LA Fitness and currently Washington Sports Club. I switched to WSC almost 5 years ago after about a year with LA Fitness because even though WSC was more money, they offered a better atmosphere.

What makes a good gym atmosphere? People (members and employees), class offerings, equipment quality and availability, and amenities.  I’ve always enjoyed WSC and have gladly paid a monthly fee twice as much as LAF because they were successful in each of those areas.  The people that work there are great. They have lots of free class offerings. It’s not so crowded that you can’t get the cardio machine of your choice. The weight room was always organized. There is a pool and sauna. The locker rooms are clean and never smell. They have a playroom for me to bring the toddler while I workout.

Lately, I’ve noticed things changing. The person in the childcare room is never on time, so my hour of time to workout is cutdown by however late she is getting in. The weight room has been dismantled with equipment laying everywhere and no one is removing their heavy weights from the barbells. Today a cycle instructor didn’t show and no one that worked there had any idea what was going on. Also today I noticed signs for $19.99 a month memberships, and they were handing out the towels from behind the front desk instead of being open to anyone in the locker room area.  I asked around and it seems the club is changing its membership options so there are basic and premium memberships.

After speaking with someone about the membership changes, it is apparent that the WSC and other My Sports Club locations are attempting to get more traffic in their gyms. The issue I have is my premium membership perks aren’t really worth the $40 price difference.  I’ve been told the premium members will receive free towel service, the ability to freeze their membership, free guest pass anytime and the ability to reserve a spot in the group classes. The only real value to me in that list is the class reservation, but as a long time member I am painfully aware that no one is enforcing it and people that register for a class often don’t get in because its full.

I may switch to the $19.99 membership, but I’m still frustrated. I don’t mind paying more to belong to a gym with members that see the value in their monthly payments and treat the facilities and equipment accordingly. I like that when I go in I can always get on an elliptical or have a barbell and bench available to use. In doing a quick search it appears there aren’t a lot of higher quality gym options available in my area. I can do a 20 minute drive and be a member of Lifetime Fitness, which I have heard amazing things about. I just need to be realistic in the difference of a 5 minute drive vs a 20 minute drive and the effect it will have on my attendance.

For now I’ll remain a member and see how this change effects the club. I am already preparing myself for the influx of resolution gym goers that happens every January (who all disappear by the end of the month), so this should be interesting.

WTF Wednesday: Chocolate Diamonds, What a Scam

26 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by ericakatherine in Nothing, WTF Wednesday

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

chocolate diamonds, diamonds, doo-doo, marketing scams, Tiffany

Lately there have been a whole bunch of ads from jewelry stores promoting their “chocolate diamonds” and it’s driving me bonkers. We have another name for them in our house, “doo-doo diamonds”.  I’m serious, I do not understand how anyone would want a chocolate diamond.   Continue reading →

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