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I'm Totally Faking It

~ Pretending to be a functioning wife, mother, friend and adult.

I'm Totally Faking It

Tag Archives: cesarean

My First Birth Story, Part 3

01 Sunday May 2016

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me, Parenting, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

baby, birth, birth story, breastfeeding, cesarean, family, HBAC, hospital, induction, midwife, nurse, OB, OR, pitocin, pregnancy, surgery, vagina, VBAC

Part III; The Axe Forgets, the Tree Remembers

After all the preparation, the classes, the research. None of it mattered. My body didn’t respond to any of the induction tactics, and I was going to have to have a cesarean. At that moment in time, I was crushed. Every one from the hospital was being positive and reminding me that soon I was going to meet my baby and how exciting that was, so I played along. I put on a smile and agreed. Continue reading →

My First Birth Story, Part 2

30 Saturday Apr 2016

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me, Parenting, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

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Tags

birth, birth story, cervidil, cesarean, contractions, doula, failure to progress, hospital, induction, interventions, IV, labor, labor and delivery, midwife, nurse, OB, pitocin, pregnancy

Part II; Freedom is Control in Your Own Life

Over our final dinner as a family of two, my husband made the suggestion/joke that we should go rouge. I considered it. The underlying fear of what happens if I become the “bad” patient and don’t go in as scheduled won out over my desire to just wait it out.

We arrived at the hospital, and after a bit of a wait, were checked into a room. Then out came the attachments; I had a blood pressure band on my right arm, IV in my left arm, and both a contraction monitor and an electronic fetal monitor wrapped around my belly. My intention was to still have as natural of a labor as possible, but it was going to be a challenge to move around with all these machines and wires. Continue reading →

My First Birth Story, Part 1

29 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me, Parenting

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

birth, birth story, cervidil, cesarean, epidural, hospital, induction, interventions, IV, midwife, OB, pitocin, pregnancy, pregnant, TENS, The Business of Being Born, therapy

Part I; If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail?

Preparing for my second birth, I was advised to seek therapy regarding my first birth. It was an experience that left a mark on me, and changed me as a person. I knew therapy was a good idea, and that I was going to be pushed to face the memories of that day. One of my homework assignments from my therapist was to finally write the boy’s birth story. Though it was hard for me to do, and I procrastinated and pushed back, I did it. With April being Cesarean Awareness Month, I thought it’d be a good time to finally share the story on my blog. Continue reading →

The Birth Bubble

07 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me, Pregnancy

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

birth, birth bubble, cesarean, gestate, HBAC, home, hospital, positivity, pregnancy, support, VBAC

You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while…or maybe you haven’t. Either way it’s been too long, so I’m back. I’ve had a baby and have tons of thoughts and experiences I’d like to share.

The first thing I’d like to share is why I went so long without posting. I’m sure it’s partially obvious that after my 30 weeks pregnant post, that I would at some point be having a baby. Originally I promised a 40 weeks pregnant post, but when I reached that point in my pregnancy I didn’t want to bring attention to myself.  I had stepped into my birth bubble.

By the time a woman has reached 38 weeks she has been asked numerous times “when is that baby going to come out?” or received the infamous “you look like you’re about to pop” comments. I didn’t enjoy it during my first pregnancy, so I knew I needed to avoid the comments however possible in my second.

I didn’t post to Facebook about how uncomfortable I was, or how I had yet again gone past my due date. I didn’t want friends and family texting me every day asking if there were any updates (because people, when the baby comes you will hear about it). I wanted to be left alone, to continue in my pursuit to gestate in peace.

There was also another reason I didn’t want to share too much as I reached the end of my pregnancy. I had a birth planned that stepped outside our societal norms, and I didn’t have any interest in hearing anyones opinion about it. I was planning a home birth; I did a lot of research, assembled an outstanding birth team, and worked really hard to prepare as best I could to have the birth I desired. There was no room in my world for naysayers.

My first birth experience was not what I had hoped for, and I was unprepared for the unexpected. I was pushed into doing things I didn’t want because of the protocol of my providers and the hospital. I ended up with a cesarean that I didn’t want, wasn’t sure I needed, and it was physically and psychologically damaging. I knew before the surgeon cut me open that I was not planning on returning to a hospital for my next birth.

The birth bubble is a term I learned from a Facebook group dedicated to mamas that have had cesareans and were looking to have vaginal births in the future (VBAC). You’d be amazed at the negativity so many of these women faced; from their doctors, their family, their friends, and some even from their spouses. People are so quick to tell you it’s not possible (so you should just schedule your repeat cesarean now), or that it’s not safe (you’re going to kill your baby and/or yourself) when they don’t have evidence on their side to back their scare tactics.

Attempting a vaginal birth when you believe your body is broken is not easy. It requires nothing but positivity and support. Enter the birth bubble. I spoke with friends and family openly about my intention to have a vaginal birth at home (HBAC), and anyone that had doubts, I would assure them I had done my research and had a team of people supporting me that had the appropriate experience for this endeavor. Anyone that I didn’t think could offer me the positive energy I needed, I didn’t tell or engage with.

Ultimately, I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of support I received. If anyone did have any real doubts about what I was doing, I didn’t hear about it. And spoiler alert, I did have a VBAC, and though it didn’t go as I had pictured, it was everything I needed it to be. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I couldn’t be more proud of myself, and my definitely not broken body.Toddler_Baby

 

 

My Son’s Birthday Brings Mixed Emotions

07 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

40 weeks, baby factory, birth, birthday, breastfeeding, c-section, care provider, celebrate, cesarean, education, emotions, epidural, happy birthday, hospitals, intervention, knowledge, labor, midwife, natural birth, party, pitocin, pregnancy, sadness, toddler, vaginal

This past weekend my son turned two. We had a nice party in the backyard with family, friends and other little kids running, crawling and jumping around. It’s so much fun to celebrate the day this amazing little person came into our lives and completely changed how we see the world.

In addition to wishing my son “happy birthday” some of my friends also wished me a “happy birthing day”. I of course appreciate the acknowledgement of my role that day, except I wasn’t able to receive the well wishes the way they intended. Instead I can’t help but note to them I didn’t really “birth him”, he was cut out of me.

Continue reading →

Recent Posts

  • My VBAC Birth Story
  • WTF Wednesday: Why Won’t You Sleep?
  • My First Birth Story, Part 3
  • My First Birth Story, Part 2
  • My First Birth Story, Part 1

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