Abdominal Therapy, Castor Oil, Chiropractor, CNM, Digestive Health, Gallbladder, Gallstones, health, Herbalist, Homeopathic, Nutritionist, Old People, physician, shoes, shopping, spanx, surgery, Whole Foods
I’ve quit shopping. No, not grocery shopping (though I really wish I could) or household goods. I have had to put my general shopaholic/drunk shopping tendencies on hold. Since the beginning of the year I haven’t purchased any of the unnecessary (but fun) purchases I normally would. No jeans, shoes, boots, blouses, dresses, or even Spanx (gasp! I love all things Spanx). I’ve blocked all my daily coupon emails from Ann Taylor and Banana Republic. I fight the urge to browse Gilt.com and Fab.com in search of random items that bring me joy when I can expect them at my front door in a few days.
The reason I had to stop spending money on frivolous goods is not to save money (that would be a good reason to continue my disciplined habits). Instead money has been reallocated to a variety of health practitioners and supplements… and some of these folks aren’t covered by insurance and they aren’t cheap. Continue reading
Recently you may have heard of the outrage over the latest Calvin Klein ad, and the model that was featured in it. Her name is Myla Dalbesio and she is, as far as the fashion industry is concerned, a plus size model. The big stink that people have been making has to do with this model, who is a size 10, being represented as plus size. Except that in the case of this ad, she’s not.
The ad is not for plus size women, the collection is not for plus size women. For once, an average size women is being used to advertise to other average size women. I personally think people should be applauding Calvin Klein for showing women someone they could possibly relate to. Most of the time underwear ads are of women with protruding hip bones and severely concave stomaches; neither of which cheese eating, wine drinking, average women relate to.
In addition to this, let’s talk about how Myla is considered plus size in the modeling world. This means that its her body that is being hired to represent plus size clothing lines. Do you know how frustrating that is to plus size women? There is finally a movement to offer designer clothes (as opposed to muumuu’s) to women above a size 14 and who do they see wearing these clothes, but a trim, no muffin top, no back fat, no bingo arm, size 10 “plus sized” model. That’s not relatable, at all.
I get it. Designers want their clothes to be prominent and be worn by the bodies that will do them justice (i.e. clothes hanger bodies). They want women to see ads and to want to feel like if they wear these clothes, they too will look that wonderful. Except we don’t. We look at those ads and wonder how many ways they’ve been photoshopped. What we do think is “will this look good on me?”. Many of us are online shoppers now, and when we see something on a model we want to have an idea of how it will fit on our bodies. Size 10 women want to see size 10 models. Size 18 women want to see size 18 models. And every body is different, so really we’d like to see women with belly pooches, or flat asses, or chubby arms.
Or maybe that’s just me. No matter what, Calvin Klein was just trying to work outside the size 2 box for once. Myla, along with other larger than size 2 models, are just trying to make a living in an industry that has made it harder and harder to do so.
I’m just trying to see some model chics with some chub so I can figure out if I order that sheath dress, will it hide or highlight my FUPA.
I once owned a pair of black pants that I don’t think I will ever forget. They were bootcut, with no front pockets, perfectly placed back pockets and belt loops in case I ever decided to tuck in a shirt and rock a belt. I still remember that night at Target when I bought them.
At some point, I gained weight and wasn’t able to wear my favorite pants anymore. They may be in the bin of “skinny clothes” in the attic that will never see the light of day again. I think of them fondly…
Ever since these magical black pants have been put away, I cannot find another pair of pants that fit right. I own eleven pairs of pants; skinny jeans, colored jeans, black pants, chinos, and not one of them fits me well. I have one pair of jeggings that I really like, that are the closest thing I have to feeling good in a pair of pants (especially post pregnancy). Of course, they are slowly becoming worn (where else but between the thighs, where all the action is), and I tried to find them online to buy a new pair, but they appear to no longer exist.
Aside from being sad that I don’t have pants that fit well, I wonder why the hell do I own all of these pants that don’t fit right? You know why? It’s because, when I buy a pair (usually online because thats where all the options are if you are bigger than a size 8) and I try them on, if they zipper I say “eh, well at least I got them on”. At that moment in time I’m pleased to have a pair of pants that didn’t make me cry (yes, pants can make you cry).
*Side note: I considered taking a picture of myself in each of my pair of pants and explaining why they are ill fitting, but I’m not quite ready to publicly embarrass myself yet. At least not on the internet. Just know that the terms muffin top and mom jeans would make an appearance.
Another reason I own eleven pairs of pants that don’t really fit well? Because I’m lazy. The online purchase is easy, I go to whatever website I’m buying from (some of my favorites are Zappos, Gap, Banana Republic, Nordstom and Ann Taylor) plug in my credit card info and they send them, promptly. I try everything on, but when things don’t fit well I find myself convincing myself they are okay because I just don’t feel like re-packaging everything and taking it to UPS to return. Bad reason, but it’s true.
I’m starting to feel the “I need new fall clothes” itch, so I’ve been online window shopping, but I’m afraid to pull the trigger. I feel like I have to buy 10 different pairs in 2 different sizes so I can give myself the best chance at finding 1 pair that fits. The trouble is I don’t want to have all that hanging out on my credit card, while I wait for whatever company to process my return in 6-8 weeks. I could actually go to a store, but as I mentioned above, size options become an issue and that’s when the pants will make me cry (again).
You know another thing that bothers me about pants (other than the fact I have to wear them)? That every single store has created this sort of “what’s your shape” guide to buying pants, and none of them really mean crap. I’m not an apple or a pear; I’m more of a beer and a donut. If some company starts labeling their fit guides by what your favorite carb is, then maybe I can figure out which is the right fit for me.
I guess in the future I’ll try to hold my pants to a higher standard and not settle for the “didn’t make me cry” pair. Or, I may stop wearing pants.