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~ Pretending to be a functioning wife, mother, friend and adult.

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Tag Archives: support

The Birth Bubble

07 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Me, Pregnancy

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

birth, birth bubble, cesarean, gestate, HBAC, home, hospital, positivity, pregnancy, support, VBAC

You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while…or maybe you haven’t. Either way it’s been too long, so I’m back. I’ve had a baby and have tons of thoughts and experiences I’d like to share.

The first thing I’d like to share is why I went so long without posting. I’m sure it’s partially obvious that after my 30 weeks pregnant post, that I would at some point be having a baby. Originally I promised a 40 weeks pregnant post, but when I reached that point in my pregnancy I didn’t want to bring attention to myself.  I had stepped into my birth bubble.

By the time a woman has reached 38 weeks she has been asked numerous times “when is that baby going to come out?” or received the infamous “you look like you’re about to pop” comments. I didn’t enjoy it during my first pregnancy, so I knew I needed to avoid the comments however possible in my second.

I didn’t post to Facebook about how uncomfortable I was, or how I had yet again gone past my due date. I didn’t want friends and family texting me every day asking if there were any updates (because people, when the baby comes you will hear about it). I wanted to be left alone, to continue in my pursuit to gestate in peace.

There was also another reason I didn’t want to share too much as I reached the end of my pregnancy. I had a birth planned that stepped outside our societal norms, and I didn’t have any interest in hearing anyones opinion about it. I was planning a home birth; I did a lot of research, assembled an outstanding birth team, and worked really hard to prepare as best I could to have the birth I desired. There was no room in my world for naysayers.

My first birth experience was not what I had hoped for, and I was unprepared for the unexpected. I was pushed into doing things I didn’t want because of the protocol of my providers and the hospital. I ended up with a cesarean that I didn’t want, wasn’t sure I needed, and it was physically and psychologically damaging. I knew before the surgeon cut me open that I was not planning on returning to a hospital for my next birth.

The birth bubble is a term I learned from a Facebook group dedicated to mamas that have had cesareans and were looking to have vaginal births in the future (VBAC). You’d be amazed at the negativity so many of these women faced; from their doctors, their family, their friends, and some even from their spouses. People are so quick to tell you it’s not possible (so you should just schedule your repeat cesarean now), or that it’s not safe (you’re going to kill your baby and/or yourself) when they don’t have evidence on their side to back their scare tactics.

Attempting a vaginal birth when you believe your body is broken is not easy. It requires nothing but positivity and support. Enter the birth bubble. I spoke with friends and family openly about my intention to have a vaginal birth at home (HBAC), and anyone that had doubts, I would assure them I had done my research and had a team of people supporting me that had the appropriate experience for this endeavor. Anyone that I didn’t think could offer me the positive energy I needed, I didn’t tell or engage with.

Ultimately, I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of support I received. If anyone did have any real doubts about what I was doing, I didn’t hear about it. And spoiler alert, I did have a VBAC, and though it didn’t go as I had pictured, it was everything I needed it to be. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I couldn’t be more proud of myself, and my definitely not broken body.Toddler_Baby

 

 

This is About More Than Just Hair

05 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by ericakatherine in Birth, Hair, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

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Tags

birth, doctors, education, hair, hospitals, ICAN, Improving Birth, research, routine care, support, women

Ladies, you know that moment in time that you’ve been rocking the same hair color and style for years, and you finally decide “this is it, I’m doing something new!”? What’s next? Research!

You start pulling pictures from magazines (or Pinterest) with the color and the style you want. You might even go online and upload a picture of your face so some app can show you what you will look like with a fire engine red bob .

Next, you’ll take all of this information to your hair stylist with whom you’ve had a standing appointment with every other month for the last 6 years. It took a while to develop a trust with them, that they won’t let you go the wrong direction, but now you’re ready to show them the plan for your new ‘do and hope that they’ll be on board.

Once all is said and done, you’ll either love your hair or re-think how much wine you’ve been drinking at night. But it’s hair, and it grows back again…. it’s not something that you live with the repercussions of every day for the rest of your life.

Women spend a lot of time and energy women doing research and preparing for changes that will effect the way they look.  They aren’t however, putting in the same time and energy on researching their pregnancies and birth options.

This week (September 1-8) is Empowered Birth Awareness Week, and I want you to know that.

I want you to know because even if you have had your kids, maybe you have a sister, best friend or daughter that someday will have a baby, and will want to know more.

I want you to know that because maybe sister/best friend/daughter had a birth that left them feeling mistreated. Or maybe they weren’t allowed to birth the way they wanted, because they were coerced with fear instead of factual information.

I want you to know that because women all over our country are not educating themselves about their bodies and about their birth options. Women are walking into doctors offices and hospitals having done no research about what is fact vs what is fear.

I want you to know that it is important to support women, and fuel a desire for education and information, not just say “doctor knows best”. Yes, doctors know a lot, but they are not YOU. They are not the one’s that will live with the decisions made throughout the birth process, day in and day out for the rest of their lives.

I’m not here to go on about epidurals or episiotomies; I’m saying this to remind you that birth is more important than your hair. Routine care is just that, routine. You are an individual, and deserve to be treated on an individual basis. This has to start with caring enough to research and educate yourself on your options (or support your BF/sister/daughter).

Below are some links that can get the informational ball rolling. If you ever want more information, or help finding it, please contact me!

Improving Birth: http://www.improvingbirth.org

ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network): www.ican-online.org/

Coalition for Improving Maternity Services: www.motherfriendly.org/

 

 

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  • My First Birth Story, Part 1

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