Tag Archives: toddler

2015 Wrap Up

31 Thursday Dec 2015

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What good is having a blog if you don’t take a moment to collect your thoughts and reflect everything that has happened over the past year?

2015 was interesting and exciting year for our family. In January we were on month #6 of trying to get pregnant, and after a very early miscarriage in November I was convinced something was wrong with me. Luckily, within the first two weeks of the year, I got pregnant (Although I didn’t know it until after a weekend in Vegas- figures huh)!

One thing I never shared was that my husband’s grandmother passed away in early January. I remember it was during one of my prime times for getting preggers, and I sort of wondered if we would conceive about the same time she passed… and we did, and with a little girl. I really felt a big “circle of life” moment when I did find out I was pregnant.

In April, the hubby had shoulder surgery to fix years of pain and dislocations he had been suffering with. It was a really challenging time for us; I struggled being the caretaker for him, our son, and keeping up with my job and the house work (and let’s be honest, the house work was kept to a minimum). Hubby struggled to watch me, and not be able to do much to help (and he couldn’t wait to be the one doing the cooking again).

The rest of the year we spent a lot of time working, preparing not only for a new baby, but the birth itself, and spending as much time as we could with the toddler while he was still an only child. We took a trip to our favorite beach town Cape May, NJ, and celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary with an overnight trip to DC (and went to a restaurant that did not have children). In between were midwife appointments, trips to the physical therapist for hubby and chiropractor for me.

It’s crazy how quickly the summer months passed. It felt like all of a sudden I was face to face with my due date and just waiting day after day for our lives to change again.  Eventually baby girl made her entrance earth side, and we’ve begun a whole new balancing act.

I think about how I started this year feeling sad and frustrated. I spent a weekend in Vegas for work, and it was the first time in a long time I wasn’t trapped in my head, and I was just having fun (and in meetings of course). Two days after, a little pee stick changed everything and my year was brighter.

I’m so happy to have my amazing husband, and our two amazing children. 2015 has been a good year, and I hope 2016 brings just as much joy and love.

2015_wrapup

 

PS: I also saw Dave Matthews Band for the 11th time, and the Bills have missed the playoffs for the 16th year in a row. Unfortunately, the DMB shows don’t outweigh the playoffs.

 

 

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Stop Telling Me 3 Is Worse

05 Tuesday May 2015

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The terrible two’s. Everyone knows this gem of a saying. Your beautiful baby has started to develop an opinion and voices it with flailing limbs and screaming words that may resemble English. Your days become a balance of talking this child off the edge of complete meltdown, and having the foresight to know what they want before they do, so they don’t reach that edge.

Our daily battles include, but are not limited to, the following:
Diaper changes
Getting into the car seat
Getting out of the car seat and attempting to play in the car
Trying to ride the dog
Butter vs peanut butter and how I should know the difference even though he uses the same word for both
Not running into the middle of parking lots
Deciding he is no longer willing to walk in the middle of an intersection with the light about to change

Every day has its challenges, and some days you can accept that this little person is still just developing and unable to understand why you ask of them what you do. Some days you really start to wonder if you’ve done this to yourself. Did you not set enough boundaries? Are you not communicating properly? Are you screwing your child up and they’re going to be a raving lunatic for years to come? These thoughts are the ones that drive you mad… and to subscribe to enough wine of the month clubs to get deliveries once a week.

What really kills me is any time I mention the struggles in front of a parent whose child is older than two, they tell me “three is worse”. It gets WORSE?!? You have got to be kidding me. I’m like George Bailey on the bridge and they’re basically Clarence giving me the push off instead of diving in to save me from myself. How do you go on when its gets WORSE?

Obviously, I don’t have much of a choice. I could hightail it to the Caribbean, or go off the grid and live in the middle of the woods, never having to wrestle a soaking wet toddler out of the bathtub again. But who am I kidding, I would miss my boys like crazy and do nothing but wish they were there with me.

What I can (and will) do, is politely ask all of you lovely people that have done your toddler time, to please shut it. Tell me its wonderful, and 3 year olds are just darling. Tell me how they’re potty trained now and speak with more words than grunts, or that they’re growing size means bigger and stronger hugs. Please stop telling me the tantrums are worse than what I’m going through now, because I may just snap and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that panic attack. Just ask my husband.

The Man I Wanted to Punch at a Child’s Birthday Party

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

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Yesterday the family headed over to a dear friend son’s 2nd birthday party.  It was a beautiful day and the yard was set up like a little circus extravaganza. There was popcorn, cotton candy and lots of activities for all the kids to do while they were there.

This party is one of the first parties our toddler has been to, specifically with so many kids. The age ranges were from 1 year old to probably 5 or 6 years old. Typically he’s surrounded by other 2 year old that all have the same behavioral patterns- take toy away, run into each other, have toy taken back, climb something, repeat.

It becomes very clear what a different being a 2 year old is compared to a 1 or 5 year old. 1 year olds don’t really cause a whole lot of trouble; they are just getting the hang of moving on their own, don’t talk very much and therefore are really of minimal impact amongst a group of kids. 5 years olds are the flip side of that; they have gotten the hang of their bodies movements along with a good grasp of language and how to communicate their wishes/needs.

2 Years olds are none of the above. They don’t pay enough attention to others around them, they don’t know how to ask for a turn with a toy, and don’t quite get the idea when someone doesn’t want to play with them (or is too small and can’t play with them). Our toddler tried to wrestle a 1 year old, and thought that the climbing castle was his kingdom to be ruled.

He also thought that pushing an older boy was a fun game, that the older boy did not. I didn’t witness it, but during lunch while I was helping the toddler with his pizza, this little boy came up to me and told me toddler had been pushing him. I apologized for toddler and he went on his way. I heard him not long after that saying “that boy isn’t being very nice”, and I felt sad. I felt sad that my son had hurt this boys feelings, that he’s become “a pusher”, which is heading down the path of being a bully. I tried to talk to the toddler about what the boy said, but the only response I got was “pizza pizza” and “water”. I don’t think I got through.

Probably not even an hour later toddler was starting to get over-tired, which we expected since the party went into nap time, and this kid is a sleeper.  The hubby and I started to pack up to leave and say our goodbyes. Just as we started doing this, the toddler ran over to one of the kiddie games that a couple of adults were playing for their own amusement. It was sort of a corn hole-esque game with bean bags and holes to throw them in. The toddler, loving a good game of corn hole, ran over and tackled the board knocking it to the ground.

Then I heard the statement that I’ve been thinking about over and over again for the last 24 hours. One of the adult “gentlemen” said, right after toddler knocked the board over, “I hate this kid”.  I heard him say it, I stared him straight in the eyes and then he turned his back to me as his brother-in-law giggled. I have been going over in my head for the last 24+ hours all the things I wish I would have said to him. I always go back to the fact that this was a party, there were kids and grandparents there, and I didn’t make a scene and that was for the best.

First I will tell you that I’m 95% sure this man was the father of the child my toddler had been pushing. For that, I understand not being my kids #1 fan. But FUCK YOU YOU MOTHER FUCKING DOUCHE BAG FOR THINKING YOU CAN SAY YOU HATE MY KID RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOUR SON GROWS UP TO BE A BETTER MAN THAN YOU. IF I SEE YOU AGAIN AND THERE ARE NO CHILDREN OR ELDERY, AND YOU SAY ANYTHING OF THE SORT WITHIN EARSHOT OF ME, I WILL SPIT ON YOU. I WILL PROBABLY PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN YOUR FUCKING NOSE. I WILL MOST DEFINITELY MAKE A FUCKING SCENE. DON’T EVER SAY YOU HATE MY KID. EVER. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK HEAD.

I know my child isn’t perfect or always well behaved, but he is a sweet little boy and he has a sensitive soul. I imagine that the older boy that he was pushing was probably a rambunctious 2 year old that made bad decisions and hurt other kids feelings. I’m also guessing that this dad wasn’t very involved in trying to work through actions and consequences with someone that has the brain capacity of a neanderthal, because if he were he’d probably remember what a challenging time this is.

Moral of the story; don’t say shit about my kid in front of me, because I’m on a short fuse now. And, try and give parents a break, if we could keep them from messing up, we would.

Other Things I’m Thankful For

29 Saturday Nov 2014

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Every Thanksgiving we give thanks for our family and friends and their being a source of love and support in our lives. I’m immensely grateful to have amazing friends and family, and an awesome hubby and toddler to fill my life with joy (and poop).

There are some things though, that I’m grateful for that aren’t quite Thanksgiving day levels, but I still wanted to give a shout out to. Here are some things that in my day to day life I am grateful for… Continue reading →

Why Did We Think We Could Go To A Restaurant For Dinner?

23 Sunday Nov 2014

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Friday night the husband made the suggestion of going out for dinner… he even let me pick the spot.  I’m a sucker for some guacamole and tacos, so off we went with toddler in tow to my favorite mexican restaurant.

To start the evening off it was a 15 minute wait for a table. Our first instinct is to head over to the bar to get a couple of margaritas while we wait. Well there is a reason all the people with kids wait for tables huddled at the opposite wall from the bar. Continue reading →

There is SO MUCH on my brain today!

03 Monday Nov 2014

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I’m not on a sugar high because my husband hid all the leftover Halloween candy. I’m not even on a caffeine high because I only had 1 cup of coffee this morning. Instead, I think I’m on a ‘my brain might explode soon’ high.

I’ve been a to-do list junkie for a very long time, and somehow I’ve let it go without updating lately and it’s lead to a nervous breakdown. I spent most of my day yesterday in a haze of feelings of being overwhelmed, being a failure,  and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today, I got up early and did some cleaning, I went to the gym and then got to work. I have taken a “late lunch” trip to the mall to try and find some rain boots and jacket for the toddler. It’s supposed to rain on Thursday, and his school still has playground time unless its raining hard. Sooooo, unless I want him tracking mud around his new classroom (nice first impression, huh) I need to track down some toddler rain boots that don’t cost more than our weekly groceries.

I’ve also been thinking about Brittany Maynard, the girl with terminal cancer that chose to end her life this past weekend. I think about how hard of a decision that must be, but I also think about how she has every right to make that decision for herself.  The fact that only 5 states allow you to do this baffles me.  So many that oppose this idea believe it’s up to God to decide when you die.  Well guess what, that is what YOU believe. That doesn’t make it what others need to live their life by.  I’m a big advocate for people (and especially women) having the say in what happens to their bodies, because after all, it is their body and their life.   I can’t say if I were in her position I would do the same, but I wish more states offered folks the option to decide for themselves.

Then of course is a new found love of the Facebook page Humans of New York. It’s freaking awesome and I think you should go like it. Now.

Oh, and I still need to do my expense report for the month of October, do laundry, do my territory planning…and actually write the to-do list so it Gets.Out.Of.My.Head. I’m thinking about all that too.

WTF Wednesday: Toddler Tantrums

15 Wednesday Oct 2014

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If you’ve had a toddler throw a tantrum, I think you know that my post could just be the letters WTF and you would nod your head and completely understand.  If you’ve never been around a toddler throwing a tantrum or only witnessed a tantrum in a Target toys aisle, consider yourself blessed (yes, witnessing a tantrum may feel annoying to you, or disrupt your blissful trip to the home goods section, but you are in fact lucky because you get to leave the tantrum behind).

All it takes is them spotting one thing they want to get those sticky little hands on, and you saying “no”, and these little people become candidates for an exorcism.

For example, the toddler came into my office and wanted to use my pen. Well I didn’t feel like having to clean pen off of the walls for the rest of the evening, so I said “no” and took the pen away. Then we took the toddler out of the office.

You would think we sliced his fingers off the way he wailed. I mean, MY GOD CHILD, IT’S A PEN. Some days you can take the pen away and he’s instantly on to the next thing, forgetting the pen existed.  Some days, like today, the pen was the most important thing that could have ever existed and now we’re the worst parents ever for not letting him have it.

We always try and use redirection/distraction tactics with him, but some times he won’t budge.  There is screaming, crying, flailing of limbs (bonus points when the entire body hits the ground and then the flailing limbs get going).  All because of a pen.

Sometimes I want to just give him what he wants so it will all STOP. There are days when it’s just too much and to make it go away with a simple handing over of the desired object seems like the only way to keep sane.  I have to remind myself that this is for the greater good, and that hopefully as time goes on and he realizes that throwing himself into the wall still doesn’t get the pen, maybe he won’t resort to that any longer.

All I know right now is this is why parents drink…and why they hide in the bathroom.

My Son’s Birthday Brings Mixed Emotions

07 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by in Birth, Me

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This past weekend my son turned two. We had a nice party in the backyard with family, friends and other little kids running, crawling and jumping around. It’s so much fun to celebrate the day this amazing little person came into our lives and completely changed how we see the world.

In addition to wishing my son “happy birthday” some of my friends also wished me a “happy birthing day”. I of course appreciate the acknowledgement of my role that day, except I wasn’t able to receive the well wishes the way they intended. Instead I can’t help but note to them I didn’t really “birth him”, he was cut out of me.

Continue reading →

Gold Stars for Moms

30 Tuesday Sep 2014

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Remember back in the day when you used to get gold stars for doing something good? Feelings of accomplishment and pride were represented on a big piece of cardboard with your name and then a (hopefully) long line of gold star shaped stickers.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the playground and the kids wanted to go on the swings, but someone (teens with nothing better to do) had wrapped the swings around the top bar. I wasn’t going to let my little one go without some time on the swing, so I stepped up and began heaving the swing seats over the bars, attempting to avoid being wacked in the face as they came down. I went down the whole row of swings, and when I had finished, the other moms were thankful that their kids could swing again. Continue reading →

WTF Wednesday!

18 Thursday Sep 2014

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So many blogs have a “thing” for each day of the week, so being that I like copying shit that I like, I decided I would have my own day “thing”. This is WTF Wednesday.

WTF is WTF Wednesday? Its whateverthefuck I want it to be. Originally I had this whole rant about my local Giant grocery store and the rude ass people that go there, and the incompetent people that work there. But then I spent the evening with a toddler with a cold.  He appears to be on the tail end of it because there is so much goop oozing out of his face at this moment, this has to be his body expelling the bug. Please God let this be the end of it.

He hasn’t napped well the last couple days, which leads to the evenings from hell. Tonight, he chewed up (homemade, thankyouverymuch) chicken tenders, only to slowly dribble it all out in the space between his dresser and the wall. WTF? He stowed the food in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

Then after bath time, we started to put on pajamas, until we got to the pants. He was adamant that he was not going to wear pants tonight. Fine. I’ll deal with whatever scene this becomes in the morning, after he takes off his diaper sometime during the night.  I just don’t have it in me to fight over pants this evening.

And just when things had settled down, and he was being cuddly and drinking his milk, I  had the brilliant thought of “hey, he’s finally in a good mood again, I should give him some cough medicine before bed”.  Never, become so confident a toddler is in a good mood. I should know by now, they can turn on a dime, and this kid did.

I am wearing every ounce of medicine I put in that stupid little syringe. It’s on my clothes, on my arms, on my face.  My arm was literally just stuck to my desk.

I’m going to go pour a glass of wine. WTF Wednesday.